Observing vs. Inferring
It is 8:00.
PM.
I am just now starting to cook dinner.
I drove to my younger son’s football practice straight from work, thinking they would get out early (7:00 pm) since they had to report early (5:30 pm), ostensibly because of the home Steelers game opener extravaganza jubilee.
Hahahahaha…
7:45 pm. And they were still going strong.
I, efficiency expert that I am, am cursing myself for having ASSUMED practice would be over early simply because it had started early. STUPID, FOOLISH WOMAN!! We all know what happens when we ASSUME….
I had planned ahead for tacos, so the key ingredients (box of taco shells, hamburger meat, package of taco seasoning) are all ready to go. I COULD have come home from work first, made the tacos, and THEN gone to pick up my son.
But, oh, no....
My older son finished HIS football practice early, so he called me at work. I told him to call his grandmother and she would probably come pick him up.
He was nonplused. “Why can’t YOU pick me up?”
I usually pick him up on my way home from work, take him home, fix dinner, and then go watch my younger son finish HIS football practice. Then bring him home, we all eat dinner, yada yada yada.
“I’m still at work,” I said. “I don’t get off until 6.”
“Yeah,” he said, “well, if I call Grandma now, she probably won’t get here til 6.”
I said, “Yes. But I don’t even get OFF until 6. I couldn’t possibly get to the high school to pick you up until about 6:45.”
“Oh.”
At 6:00, just as I was walking out the door, my older son called me back.
“Grandma still isn’t here,” he said.
“Well, did you call her?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you talk to her on the phone? Ask her to come pick you up?”
“Yeah. At like 5:48. And she’s not here yet.”
“O.K. Well, I imagine she’s on her way. Did you arrange a place to meet?”
“Yes. That’s where I am. Can’t YOU come get me?”
“Well, I am just leaving work now. I haven’t even left the parking lot yet. I am sure Grandma will be there WAY before I can get there.”
“What if she’s not?”
“Well, if she doesn’t come in the next 15 minutes, call me back. O.K.?”
“O.K.”
Apparently, she came within the next fifteen minutes.
CUT TO…..
8:00.
Me in the kitchen, scurrying around, trying to fix dinner as fast as I can. I am starving. I am EXHAUSTED. My kids still have to do homework. The Steelers game is coming on. I am starving. I am tired. Did I mention that I was starving?
My younger son, who has just taken his shower after football practice, comes into the kitchen, plops down at the kitchen table, and proceeds to start writing in a binder. He tells me to pay no mind to him, he is just doing his homework.
OKAY.
Now, when your 12 year old son tells you that, what would YOU think????
I was a might taken aback, but… it was late, I was tired, and we were ALL starving. My son proceeded to scribble. And I proceeded to make dinner.
It ends up that he was doing his homework assignment for 7th grade science.
“Observing vs. Inferring”
Assignment: Observe someone or something living for 5-10 minutes.
(Oh. I guess I am a living thing!)
Write down every single thing they do on this paper. Fill this paper with observations. Don’t tell them you are observing them.
After you have many different observations, start making inferences and/or draw conclusions.
My son’s observations and inferences (verbatim):
“She is cooking dinner for my family. She seems as though she is in a hurry to set the table and finish cooking. She is watching the Steeler pre-game show. She is putting taco shells in the oven to heat them up. She’s microwaving ground beef. Now she is opening a can of salsa. She is cutting lettuce, tomatoes, and onions."
Predictions:
“Since she is watching the pre-game show, she will probably watch the game when it comes on. I noticed that she is cooking taco shells, ground beef, and vegetables so she is most likely cooking tacos for dinner. She is in a hurry, because she is very hungry and she knows we are hungry too.”
NOW.
What REALLY happened………………….
Frick! I need to cook the hamburger meat. I hope it is defrosted! Screw cooking it on the stove; I am just going to microwave it. No one will notice the difference. Oh. Need to preheat the oven for the taco shells. 325 degrees. Turn the oven light on. I like it when the oven light is on.
Uh-oh. 8:00. Didn’t D tell me the Steelers game starts at 8??? I could fricking care less about the stupid Steeler’s football game! I am SO pissed I missed the news. The CBS Evening News. With Katie Couric. No less. Now it is fricking 8:00. No news on now. Except for Fox or CNN. Yuck.
What channel is the Steeler game on?
6?
No.
8?
No.
What the frick channel is this fricking – oh, channel 12. OK.
Where is the taco seasoning? I know I had taco seasoning laid out.
Crap! Meat is almost done. I don’t even have the veggies cut up yet. God, I hope M didn’t eat all the shredded cheese! WHERE is the cheese? Oh. Here.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Meat is done!
OK.
Crap! Don’t even tell me we don’t have any salsa!!! Surely I bought some at the store last week.
(Digging through cabinet.)
Ah! Salsa. Great!
(Horrible bleating noise comes from the TV)
“What the… HELL?”
I turn and look at the TV. Some weird country dude singer is wailing about something.
“This isn’t the Steelers game!” I say.
“It’s the pre-game show,” my son, the diligent student says. “The game doesn’t start until 8:30.”
WHAT!!????
Then WHY am I watching this crap?????? I think to myself.
I start digging in the refrigerator for a tomato and lettuce and onion.
“Where the FUCK is the onion?”
That is a rhetorical question.
I start chopping up tomatoes, onions, and lettuce.
Can’t find clean spoons for the salsa and the sour cream. Steal my spoon off the table. Grab a dirty spoon out of the dishwasher and wash it off.
Cheese!
I almost forgot the cheese.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Oh, crap, the taco shells are done. Don’t want them to burn.
We have a mix of taco shells. Some are regular shells, left over from the last time we had tacos, while others are the “stand up” taco shells that my anal retentive family LOVES but which I can’t always find in the grocery store. I decide the kids MUST start with at least one regular shell. Because they are young and pliant. And my mother and I are old and tired and set in our ways. And regular taco shells fall over and break and make a big fucking mess! And I just don’t need that in my life right now. Or to have to listen to my mother bitch and complain about her tacos falling over and falling apart, either. I need peace, I need quiet, I need…FOOD! I give my older son, who HATES vegetables and only eats tacos with the meat, cheese, and ketchup, three of the regular taco shells since he doesn’t eat “real tacos” anyway and he needs to bear the taco shell cross so the rest of us can pile on all the fixins with abandon. He doesn’t even notice. Is just thrilled I gave him three whole tacos all at once instead of making him get up and fix his own each time. Because that would be like… work.
Some woman is WAILING in the background.
I realize it is someone singing the National Anthem.
I look at the clock. It is almost 8:30. Bloody hell!
Being totally unpatriotic, I continue with the making of the tacos.
Fireworks. Cheering. Cut to incredibly loud, obnoxious commercial.
“TIME TO EAT!” I yell.
People flock to the kitchen. People flock to assemble their tacos.
WHY ARE THEY SO… SLOW!!!????
Don’t they know I am… STARVING?????
People are jibber-jabbering at the table. Bickering. Fooling around. The TV is blaring in the background. I HATE it when the TV is on when we are eating. I ALWAYS FORBID IT. Explicitly.
BUT…
It is the Steelers.
Season opener.
Home game.
Announcers calling plays. Whistles. Cheering. My kids and mom bantering at the table.
“Could we PLEASE give thanks to the LORD our God?!?” I finally say. ( Clearly, the ONLY person in charge here.)
Silence.
Grace.
Everyone digs in.
The end.
PM.
I am just now starting to cook dinner.
I drove to my younger son’s football practice straight from work, thinking they would get out early (7:00 pm) since they had to report early (5:30 pm), ostensibly because of the home Steelers game opener extravaganza jubilee.
Hahahahaha…
7:45 pm. And they were still going strong.
I, efficiency expert that I am, am cursing myself for having ASSUMED practice would be over early simply because it had started early. STUPID, FOOLISH WOMAN!! We all know what happens when we ASSUME….
I had planned ahead for tacos, so the key ingredients (box of taco shells, hamburger meat, package of taco seasoning) are all ready to go. I COULD have come home from work first, made the tacos, and THEN gone to pick up my son.
But, oh, no....
My older son finished HIS football practice early, so he called me at work. I told him to call his grandmother and she would probably come pick him up.
He was nonplused. “Why can’t YOU pick me up?”
I usually pick him up on my way home from work, take him home, fix dinner, and then go watch my younger son finish HIS football practice. Then bring him home, we all eat dinner, yada yada yada.
“I’m still at work,” I said. “I don’t get off until 6.”
“Yeah,” he said, “well, if I call Grandma now, she probably won’t get here til 6.”
I said, “Yes. But I don’t even get OFF until 6. I couldn’t possibly get to the high school to pick you up until about 6:45.”
“Oh.”
At 6:00, just as I was walking out the door, my older son called me back.
“Grandma still isn’t here,” he said.
“Well, did you call her?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you talk to her on the phone? Ask her to come pick you up?”
“Yeah. At like 5:48. And she’s not here yet.”
“O.K. Well, I imagine she’s on her way. Did you arrange a place to meet?”
“Yes. That’s where I am. Can’t YOU come get me?”
“Well, I am just leaving work now. I haven’t even left the parking lot yet. I am sure Grandma will be there WAY before I can get there.”
“What if she’s not?”
“Well, if she doesn’t come in the next 15 minutes, call me back. O.K.?”
“O.K.”
Apparently, she came within the next fifteen minutes.
CUT TO…..
8:00.
Me in the kitchen, scurrying around, trying to fix dinner as fast as I can. I am starving. I am EXHAUSTED. My kids still have to do homework. The Steelers game is coming on. I am starving. I am tired. Did I mention that I was starving?
My younger son, who has just taken his shower after football practice, comes into the kitchen, plops down at the kitchen table, and proceeds to start writing in a binder. He tells me to pay no mind to him, he is just doing his homework.
OKAY.
Now, when your 12 year old son tells you that, what would YOU think????
I was a might taken aback, but… it was late, I was tired, and we were ALL starving. My son proceeded to scribble. And I proceeded to make dinner.
It ends up that he was doing his homework assignment for 7th grade science.
“Observing vs. Inferring”
Assignment: Observe someone or something living for 5-10 minutes.
(Oh. I guess I am a living thing!)
Write down every single thing they do on this paper. Fill this paper with observations. Don’t tell them you are observing them.
After you have many different observations, start making inferences and/or draw conclusions.
My son’s observations and inferences (verbatim):
“She is cooking dinner for my family. She seems as though she is in a hurry to set the table and finish cooking. She is watching the Steeler pre-game show. She is putting taco shells in the oven to heat them up. She’s microwaving ground beef. Now she is opening a can of salsa. She is cutting lettuce, tomatoes, and onions."
Predictions:
“Since she is watching the pre-game show, she will probably watch the game when it comes on. I noticed that she is cooking taco shells, ground beef, and vegetables so she is most likely cooking tacos for dinner. She is in a hurry, because she is very hungry and she knows we are hungry too.”
NOW.
What REALLY happened………………….
Frick! I need to cook the hamburger meat. I hope it is defrosted! Screw cooking it on the stove; I am just going to microwave it. No one will notice the difference. Oh. Need to preheat the oven for the taco shells. 325 degrees. Turn the oven light on. I like it when the oven light is on.
Uh-oh. 8:00. Didn’t D tell me the Steelers game starts at 8??? I could fricking care less about the stupid Steeler’s football game! I am SO pissed I missed the news. The CBS Evening News. With Katie Couric. No less. Now it is fricking 8:00. No news on now. Except for Fox or CNN. Yuck.
What channel is the Steeler game on?
6?
No.
8?
No.
What the frick channel is this fricking – oh, channel 12. OK.
Where is the taco seasoning? I know I had taco seasoning laid out.
Crap! Meat is almost done. I don’t even have the veggies cut up yet. God, I hope M didn’t eat all the shredded cheese! WHERE is the cheese? Oh. Here.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Meat is done!
OK.
Crap! Don’t even tell me we don’t have any salsa!!! Surely I bought some at the store last week.
(Digging through cabinet.)
Ah! Salsa. Great!
(Horrible bleating noise comes from the TV)
“What the… HELL?”
I turn and look at the TV. Some weird country dude singer is wailing about something.
“This isn’t the Steelers game!” I say.
“It’s the pre-game show,” my son, the diligent student says. “The game doesn’t start until 8:30.”
WHAT!!????
Then WHY am I watching this crap?????? I think to myself.
I start digging in the refrigerator for a tomato and lettuce and onion.
“Where the FUCK is the onion?”
That is a rhetorical question.
I start chopping up tomatoes, onions, and lettuce.
Can’t find clean spoons for the salsa and the sour cream. Steal my spoon off the table. Grab a dirty spoon out of the dishwasher and wash it off.
Cheese!
I almost forgot the cheese.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Oh, crap, the taco shells are done. Don’t want them to burn.
We have a mix of taco shells. Some are regular shells, left over from the last time we had tacos, while others are the “stand up” taco shells that my anal retentive family LOVES but which I can’t always find in the grocery store. I decide the kids MUST start with at least one regular shell. Because they are young and pliant. And my mother and I are old and tired and set in our ways. And regular taco shells fall over and break and make a big fucking mess! And I just don’t need that in my life right now. Or to have to listen to my mother bitch and complain about her tacos falling over and falling apart, either. I need peace, I need quiet, I need…FOOD! I give my older son, who HATES vegetables and only eats tacos with the meat, cheese, and ketchup, three of the regular taco shells since he doesn’t eat “real tacos” anyway and he needs to bear the taco shell cross so the rest of us can pile on all the fixins with abandon. He doesn’t even notice. Is just thrilled I gave him three whole tacos all at once instead of making him get up and fix his own each time. Because that would be like… work.
Some woman is WAILING in the background.
I realize it is someone singing the National Anthem.
I look at the clock. It is almost 8:30. Bloody hell!
Being totally unpatriotic, I continue with the making of the tacos.
Fireworks. Cheering. Cut to incredibly loud, obnoxious commercial.
“TIME TO EAT!” I yell.
People flock to the kitchen. People flock to assemble their tacos.
WHY ARE THEY SO… SLOW!!!????
Don’t they know I am… STARVING?????
People are jibber-jabbering at the table. Bickering. Fooling around. The TV is blaring in the background. I HATE it when the TV is on when we are eating. I ALWAYS FORBID IT. Explicitly.
BUT…
It is the Steelers.
Season opener.
Home game.
Announcers calling plays. Whistles. Cheering. My kids and mom bantering at the table.
“Could we PLEASE give thanks to the LORD our God?!?” I finally say. ( Clearly, the ONLY person in charge here.)
Silence.
Grace.
Everyone digs in.
The end.
posted by delta at 11:40 PM
1 Comments:
hey! we had tacos yesterday. but my inner monologue was way less exciting...: )
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