Sticks and stones
Cunt.
Whore.
Bitch.
Slut.
Can you imagine being called these names in the course of a day? Not because you were any of them. Or had even done anything to justify the displeasure of others, as crass and inappropriate as their language might be. But simply because you were a woman. Specifically, a woman at West Point.
The women in the Class of 1980, the first class at West Point to include women, certainly bore the brunt of this verbal abuse. I can only imagine their four years at West Point as a hellish nightmare. Some, I think, stayed just to prove they could stick it out. Which probably isn’t the best reason to stay at West Point. I am not here to criticize, in any way, those first women at West Point. To me, they exhibited a level of courage, fortitude, perseverance, and spirit that is to be admired by all subsequent classes of women. They paved the way for the rest of us.
While I was at West Point, not all male cadets called women names or treated them with derision and disgust. But there were some who did and did it well. And, ultimately, all it takes is one misogynist asshole in your midst to make your daily life unpleasant, especially when his behavior is tolerated, or at least overlooked, by all the others.
Some female cadets had far worse experiences than others, to be sure. For example, some had the misfortune of being plebes in Company B-1 (Boys One), where they were taunted, mistreated, and hazed by future Army officers simply for being women. Others, who landed prominent leadership positions in the Corps as Firsties – Company, Battalion, or Regimental Commanders or Brigade Staff officers, were more in the limelight and thus became the target of women-haters. Many of these women can recount taunts and name-calling from the sidelines as they led their units in pass-in-review on the Plain.
In 1984, the Class of 1979 (“End of the Line – Seventy-nine”), the last all-male class, had its five year reunion at West Point. The Corps traditionally honors classes returning to West Point for reunions with a parade. The alumni line up, from oldest classes to youngest, along the edge of the Plain, and the current Corps marches past, eyes right, saluting members of the Long Gray Line.
“Cunt!”
“Whore!”
“Bitch!”
“Slut!”
Esteemed members of the Class of ’79 hissed at cadet leaders who happened to be women. Many of these courageous, outspoken men were probably still active duty officers in the U.S. Army. Now, doesn’t that make you proud?
The number of male cadets who were openly antagonistic and misogynistic was probably small by the time I went through West Point. But how many do you need? And why were any of them tolerated? Not only was it immature and uncalled for, it was unprofessional and just plain wrong. Why did these male cadets hate women being at West Point so much?
Not only were there name calling and sexual harassment, there was also sexual assault within those hallowed walls of gray. Many female grads can tell tales of drunken male cadets stumbling into their rooms late at night and touching them, fondling them, or worse. Did the fact that these cadets were drunk, probably after a night of binge drinking down at Ike Hall, somehow make it less bad? I think not.
I find it a travesty that men like this can become officers in the United States Army. How is it in any way, shape, or form acceptable for there to be officers who commit sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape? It’s not
Incredibly, there were no locks on cadet doors until very recently. It took all the hullabaloo in the press about sexual assault at the service academies for the Administration to authorize the installation of locks on all cadet room doors. The honor code and cadet integrity were supposed to make locks unnecessary. And privacy was not a concept even to be considered.
What I find more disturbing, however, is the huge majority of male cadets who tolerated, overlooked, or denied all of the name-calling, harassment, and abuse. These were, by and large, the “good guys.” Forthright, honorable, intelligent, caring leaders. Did they just not see? Were they that oblivious?
On the bus ride from the hotel up to West Point for the Army football game during our 20th Reunion Weekend, a male classmate, whom we all adored as funny, accepting, and kind, sat with our small group of female friends. He said that a woman grad from an earlier class had been telling him how she had been harassed at West Point simply for being a woman. He said he had been shocked, dumbfounded. He turned to us and earnestly asked, “That sort of thing never happened to any of you, did it?”
We stared at him in disbelief.
How could such an upstanding, open-minded guy have been so blind, so clueless to what was going on all around him?
It pretty much left us speechless. Eyebrows rose and we all exchanged glances. Where does one begin…?
It wasn’t until later that evening, back in one of our hotel rooms, over glasses of wine, that we talked about it. And took turns telling our own personal experiences. Many of us had been roommates at West Point and most had remained close friends over the past twenty years. Yet here we were telling each other stories, many of them for the first time. We had not even told each other some of the horrible things that had happened to us.
We were so young then. And naïve. And trusting. Upperclassmen, especially Firsties, were like gods to us. We looked up to them, even the ones we despised for being assholes. The name-calling, the harassment, the abuse stunned us. We were in denial. For the most part, we had never experienced such antipathy in our young lives before. It made us feel shamed and humiliated. Often we bore the brunt of the offenses in silence, tried to ignore them, brush them off as just another form of hazing. If there were offenses egregious enough, we might speak up. But often that merely caused more problems. We were then seen as troublemakers. And in some cases, if a female cadet accused a male cadet of sexual harassment or assault, she would then incur the wrath of the other male cadets – even her own classmates – who would proceed to make her life even more of a living hell. It just wasn’t worth it.
So, are things better now? Are women more accepted at the service academies? They have been there for thirty years now. In some ways, I think yes. In others, no. It does not surprise me in the least to read stories about sexual harassment and assault at the service academies. It disturbs me, but it does not surprise me.
It was always there, usually ignored, suppressed, or minimized. If it was seen as a problem, it was seen as a minor problem that could be contained. An anomaly. Something that should never publicly be spoken about.
By not facing the problems head on and being open and truthful, the Administrations merely served to let them continue at a low simmer. One or two bad eggs did not make a bad place. While that is true, not recognizing the larger issues that lay underneath merely perpetuated a problem that women all along have known about. Because they experienced it.
Why do women go to West Point?
Part of the reason – and this would differ from the men – is that we believe that if we are given the chance to prove how smart, talented, and capable we are, we will be accepted. Not as women. But as individuals.
We do not believe that women are better than men, or that West Point should be all women. We believe that people should be evaluated on their capabilities. If an individual can do the job and do it well, he or she should be allowed to do it. Period.
Unfortunately, as we soon found out, just being able to do a job well does not ensure acceptance for women, either at West Point or in the Army. It helps certainly, but as women soon realized, not only did we have to be “as good,” we had to be “better.”
While women doing outstanding jobs do help change minds, it only takes one woman doing a poor job to wipe everything else out. That is why military women tend to frown upon other military women who are overweight, out of shape, or incompetent.
To many men, an outstanding female leader is the exception, while the incompetent female leader is the validating standard bearer. There are plenty of incompetent men in the Army, but they are seen as men who happen to be incompetent. Incompetent women are seen as the reason why women shouldn’t be in the Army.
The Army is a very male-dominated and male-oriented institution, as it has been for hundreds, thousands of years. West Point is seen as the Shangri-la of the Army, at least by many West Pointers. It is supposed to be a step above, the standard which all others choose to emulate. How women can ever fit into this rose-colored fairy tale view is the challenge.
Personally, I do not believe women will ever be fully accepted at West Point, or in the Army. This is based on my own personal experiences, as well as my interactions with men, to include my father and my husband. Because I am at heart an idealist, it disturbs me that I feel this way.
I hope that I am wrong.
Whore.
Bitch.
Slut.
Can you imagine being called these names in the course of a day? Not because you were any of them. Or had even done anything to justify the displeasure of others, as crass and inappropriate as their language might be. But simply because you were a woman. Specifically, a woman at West Point.
The women in the Class of 1980, the first class at West Point to include women, certainly bore the brunt of this verbal abuse. I can only imagine their four years at West Point as a hellish nightmare. Some, I think, stayed just to prove they could stick it out. Which probably isn’t the best reason to stay at West Point. I am not here to criticize, in any way, those first women at West Point. To me, they exhibited a level of courage, fortitude, perseverance, and spirit that is to be admired by all subsequent classes of women. They paved the way for the rest of us.
While I was at West Point, not all male cadets called women names or treated them with derision and disgust. But there were some who did and did it well. And, ultimately, all it takes is one misogynist asshole in your midst to make your daily life unpleasant, especially when his behavior is tolerated, or at least overlooked, by all the others.
Some female cadets had far worse experiences than others, to be sure. For example, some had the misfortune of being plebes in Company B-1 (Boys One), where they were taunted, mistreated, and hazed by future Army officers simply for being women. Others, who landed prominent leadership positions in the Corps as Firsties – Company, Battalion, or Regimental Commanders or Brigade Staff officers, were more in the limelight and thus became the target of women-haters. Many of these women can recount taunts and name-calling from the sidelines as they led their units in pass-in-review on the Plain.
In 1984, the Class of 1979 (“End of the Line – Seventy-nine”), the last all-male class, had its five year reunion at West Point. The Corps traditionally honors classes returning to West Point for reunions with a parade. The alumni line up, from oldest classes to youngest, along the edge of the Plain, and the current Corps marches past, eyes right, saluting members of the Long Gray Line.
“Cunt!”
“Whore!”
“Bitch!”
“Slut!”
Esteemed members of the Class of ’79 hissed at cadet leaders who happened to be women. Many of these courageous, outspoken men were probably still active duty officers in the U.S. Army. Now, doesn’t that make you proud?
The number of male cadets who were openly antagonistic and misogynistic was probably small by the time I went through West Point. But how many do you need? And why were any of them tolerated? Not only was it immature and uncalled for, it was unprofessional and just plain wrong. Why did these male cadets hate women being at West Point so much?
Not only were there name calling and sexual harassment, there was also sexual assault within those hallowed walls of gray. Many female grads can tell tales of drunken male cadets stumbling into their rooms late at night and touching them, fondling them, or worse. Did the fact that these cadets were drunk, probably after a night of binge drinking down at Ike Hall, somehow make it less bad? I think not.
I find it a travesty that men like this can become officers in the United States Army. How is it in any way, shape, or form acceptable for there to be officers who commit sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape? It’s not
Incredibly, there were no locks on cadet doors until very recently. It took all the hullabaloo in the press about sexual assault at the service academies for the Administration to authorize the installation of locks on all cadet room doors. The honor code and cadet integrity were supposed to make locks unnecessary. And privacy was not a concept even to be considered.
What I find more disturbing, however, is the huge majority of male cadets who tolerated, overlooked, or denied all of the name-calling, harassment, and abuse. These were, by and large, the “good guys.” Forthright, honorable, intelligent, caring leaders. Did they just not see? Were they that oblivious?
On the bus ride from the hotel up to West Point for the Army football game during our 20th Reunion Weekend, a male classmate, whom we all adored as funny, accepting, and kind, sat with our small group of female friends. He said that a woman grad from an earlier class had been telling him how she had been harassed at West Point simply for being a woman. He said he had been shocked, dumbfounded. He turned to us and earnestly asked, “That sort of thing never happened to any of you, did it?”
We stared at him in disbelief.
How could such an upstanding, open-minded guy have been so blind, so clueless to what was going on all around him?
It pretty much left us speechless. Eyebrows rose and we all exchanged glances. Where does one begin…?
It wasn’t until later that evening, back in one of our hotel rooms, over glasses of wine, that we talked about it. And took turns telling our own personal experiences. Many of us had been roommates at West Point and most had remained close friends over the past twenty years. Yet here we were telling each other stories, many of them for the first time. We had not even told each other some of the horrible things that had happened to us.
We were so young then. And naïve. And trusting. Upperclassmen, especially Firsties, were like gods to us. We looked up to them, even the ones we despised for being assholes. The name-calling, the harassment, the abuse stunned us. We were in denial. For the most part, we had never experienced such antipathy in our young lives before. It made us feel shamed and humiliated. Often we bore the brunt of the offenses in silence, tried to ignore them, brush them off as just another form of hazing. If there were offenses egregious enough, we might speak up. But often that merely caused more problems. We were then seen as troublemakers. And in some cases, if a female cadet accused a male cadet of sexual harassment or assault, she would then incur the wrath of the other male cadets – even her own classmates – who would proceed to make her life even more of a living hell. It just wasn’t worth it.
So, are things better now? Are women more accepted at the service academies? They have been there for thirty years now. In some ways, I think yes. In others, no. It does not surprise me in the least to read stories about sexual harassment and assault at the service academies. It disturbs me, but it does not surprise me.
It was always there, usually ignored, suppressed, or minimized. If it was seen as a problem, it was seen as a minor problem that could be contained. An anomaly. Something that should never publicly be spoken about.
By not facing the problems head on and being open and truthful, the Administrations merely served to let them continue at a low simmer. One or two bad eggs did not make a bad place. While that is true, not recognizing the larger issues that lay underneath merely perpetuated a problem that women all along have known about. Because they experienced it.
Why do women go to West Point?
Part of the reason – and this would differ from the men – is that we believe that if we are given the chance to prove how smart, talented, and capable we are, we will be accepted. Not as women. But as individuals.
We do not believe that women are better than men, or that West Point should be all women. We believe that people should be evaluated on their capabilities. If an individual can do the job and do it well, he or she should be allowed to do it. Period.
Unfortunately, as we soon found out, just being able to do a job well does not ensure acceptance for women, either at West Point or in the Army. It helps certainly, but as women soon realized, not only did we have to be “as good,” we had to be “better.”
While women doing outstanding jobs do help change minds, it only takes one woman doing a poor job to wipe everything else out. That is why military women tend to frown upon other military women who are overweight, out of shape, or incompetent.
To many men, an outstanding female leader is the exception, while the incompetent female leader is the validating standard bearer. There are plenty of incompetent men in the Army, but they are seen as men who happen to be incompetent. Incompetent women are seen as the reason why women shouldn’t be in the Army.
The Army is a very male-dominated and male-oriented institution, as it has been for hundreds, thousands of years. West Point is seen as the Shangri-la of the Army, at least by many West Pointers. It is supposed to be a step above, the standard which all others choose to emulate. How women can ever fit into this rose-colored fairy tale view is the challenge.
Personally, I do not believe women will ever be fully accepted at West Point, or in the Army. This is based on my own personal experiences, as well as my interactions with men, to include my father and my husband. Because I am at heart an idealist, it disturbs me that I feel this way.
I hope that I am wrong.
posted by delta at 1:56 PM
3 Comments:
The thing is, to a point, the sexist stuff may really have been viewed by upperclassmen as another form of hazing that just applied to females as it couldn't apply to males. But past that point, it certainly should have been treated as abuse.
I'm not surprised that a genuinely good guy would be unaware of sexual abuse. I'm not aware of cadet-on-cadet sexual abuse done to any of my female classmates, even though the evidence says there probably was.
I'll also add that, as you quote your father in another post, there are SOBs everywhere who mistreat different people for different people. Some people are just mean-minded assholes, in or out of uniform. As a Chinese-American soldier, I experienced racism.
The Army is an idealistic organization with an incredible heritage and tradition, but even the Army can't perfect human beings.
3rd thing ... I wonder if the, by all accounts, exceptional performance of female soldiers in the current war - including combat decorations for female MPs - will make a leap towards accepting women as warriors.
I must admit, when I served in Korea with females, I secretly wondered what the Army would do with them if we actually want to war with nK. Now I know that they'd have stayed by my side in the combat zone, that goes a long way.
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