Ruth Bell Graham, 1920-2007

I am devastated.

We have lost one of the planet’s most brilliant, beautiful lights: Ruth Bell Graham.

As I was struggling with my own faith, I stumbled across this wonderful biography – Ruth, A Portrait: The Story of Ruth Bell Graham – by, of all people, Patricia Cornwell. I fell in love with Ruth Bell Graham when I read that book. My faith in God was renewed and replenished because of this amazing, strong woman who happened to be married to one of the most famous evangelists of all time – Billy Graham.

Ruth experienced crises of faith, and she was open and honest about this. And that moved me so deeply.

At the time, I – a struggling, yet earnest Christian – was called upon to present a book worth reading to my Bible study group, the Heidelberg, Germany chapter of PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) [never mind that I was Catholic!]. I leapt at the chance. This book had moved me so deeply. This woman had moved me so deeply. I wanted to make sure everyone I knew was aware of this book, and this amazing woman.

I did my presentation on Ruth Bell Graham. I talked about her biography, which Patricia Cornwell had been so moved to write, and I spoke about how this woman’s crisis of faith had made me MORE confident in my own faith. This woman was so real and true and strong. She was not the famous evangelist, but she was the strength, the source that kept him going. That was so evident to me. She was honest, out front, able to articulate her dark periods and her doubts. And her faith.

The woman who went after me in the book presentations, who up until this point of time had been another, closer-to-home beacon of faith, got up and talked about how the Left Behind series was non-fiction.

I was stunned.

Gloria had been my Bible study leader on Paul. She had been so insightful. She had seemed so knowledgeable and charismatic as a leader. Now, here she was saying: The Left Behind series was based on The Book of Revelation -- which was “non-fiction.” Thus, the Left Behind series was non-fiction. She was so adamant, she scared me.

I was speechless.

I never went back to Bible study or PWOC. I was crushed.

Gloria actually wrote me a letter, telling me that she missed me, asking me why I was no longer coming.

I wrote back to her.

Honestly.

I told her how I had so enjoyed our Bible study. How she had been such a role model to me as a Christian. How I had felt I was learning so much. And then how she had completely confused me by stating so categorically that the Left Behind series was non-fiction.

I told her how I had always thought her name was so appropriate – Gloria. As in “Gloria, in Excelsis Deo.” Glory to God in the Highest. I had always thought she lived that in her daily life and that she had been such an example of what a Christian was really supposed to be. But that I could no longer come to PWOC and I could no longer be in her Bible study.

I never heard from her again.

I was not trying to be mean. I was simply being honest. Here, I had been, an earnest, vulnerable doubting Christian, and she had seemingly been the answer to my prayers. In the end, she had not been. Her vision of God and Christianity was far too narrow for me to embrace. And so I had to turn away and look elsewhere.

Ruth Bell Graham has been an inspiration and a role model to me ever since I read her biography. I have passed the book along and recommended it to countless others. In my view, Ruth Graham was the epitome of a Christian. She was loving, kind, gentle, compassionate, strong. A true leader by example. She had doubts, she had faith, she realized that humanity was full of both. She embodied the Golden Rule. She was humble. She was radiant. She was non-judgmental. She was inclusive. She was a wonderful, beautiful human being.

She has touched so many people.

She touched me.

She will be sorely missed.

Be thou at peace.