Day 1 of Yoga Camp

I went to bed early last night, anticipating having to get up early for yoga camp.

My alarm went off at 6:15. Right in the middle of this horrible dream about West Point where I was being sexually harassed by an overweight security guard. Like why on earth do utterly repulsive, unattractive men think you might be even REMOTELY interested in them???

I had to be at yoga camp before 7. In order to secure a parking spot, a place in the back of the room, and a mat. I nixed a shower beforehand because 1) we don’t have a shower right now (the old fixtures started leaking, and they have to be replaced lock, stock, and barrel); 2) why bathe BEFORE exercise; and 3) I didn’t have the energy to care what my hair looked like.

I did run downstairs to turn on the coffee maker. A cup of Joe definitely had to be in the cards for me to be able to even begin to function. Once back upstairs, I found my 15 year old son, who NEVER gets up before noon if he can help it, in the bathroom, brushing his teeth! My first reaction: he must be sleepwalking. Turns out he woke up with sore teeth and thought he should come down and brush his teeth! Not sure if that means he is worried all his teeth are rotting away because he never brushes them unless I nag him about it or what. Although he may be clenching or grinding his teeth in his sleep – it sort of runs in the family, on both sides. I offered him some Tylenol, but he didn’t want any. He said he couldn’t go back to sleep. I suggested he go online and do his Health Class homework (he is taking the course online over the summer, so he doesn’t have to take it next fall). I was kidding, the sarcastic smartass in me fully functional even before my first cup of coffee. The thought of him doing Health homework at 6:30 in the morning seemed positively ludicrous to me. Apparently, he didn’t think it was so outlandish as that is what he did. And then he went back to bed.

I, meanwhile, gulped down my coffee and headed off to the Methodist Church, where Yoga Camp was being held. There were quite a few people in attendance; I was surprised. Probably twenty or so. Only one was a man. He was actually one woman’s husband. I used to see the wife when I went to yoga during the week, and I see them both at Saturday morning classes. Some of the women were really dressed up in their fancy yoga duds, but I don’t think anyone had taken a shower.

The class went really well. Except that I was really sore. My triceps in particular were aching. I am not sure if that was from yoga class on Saturday or all the scraping of the garage wall I did yesterday so my older son could paint it today. I really dislike downward facing dog, by the way. I know that is like the quintessential yoga position, but I really hate it. It hurts my lower back.

The instructor, also much to my surprise, was actually going really slowly today. My memory of her is that she is the kamikaze yoga instructor. Maybe her style has changed. I had just drunk a big cup of coffee, though, so it was hard for me to be as relaxed and contemplative of my breathing as she would have liked. It took her WAY longer to count down from fifty than it did me!

I know her intent is that we learn a set yoga routine by the end of the week. I hate to tell her, that this early in the morning, I am not really paying attention. If she tells me to do something, I do it. But she has to keep telling me what moves to make. Because I am not really concentrating. Although I am trying to breathe. I am trying to go with the flow. And not look like the uncoordinated, inflexible retard that I am.

Naturally, the class did not let out on time. These yoga people have no sense of time!!! But I still had to go to the Y – in order to take a shower, as we had no shower at home, and then back home to change and get ready for work. That is an awful lot of activity to fit in in such a short period of time. And I was supposed to be relaxing and breathing all the while.

I felt really good all day long, however.

I am not sure how I am going to feel after several days of this, however. I am not used to doing yoga every morning. Or getting up quite that early to work out. I usually don’t make the swimming pool until at least 7:30, and by then I have taken one kid to the bus stop and another one to school.

My fear is that I won’t be able to move at all after several days of stretching, contortions, and frigging downward-facing dogs. And then racing off to take a shower at the Y and change and still make it to work on time.

Oh, well! The trials and tribulations of whiny white women….

My older son and I went for a walk last night. He was asking me questions about God and whether science can prove we have souls or not. And then he was talking about the Big Bang Theory and time loops and I kind of lost track somewhere in there. He really asks thought-provoking questions. And it leads to very interesting conversations. But I am not sure I am up to answering any of his questions. I find myself playing devil’s advocate most of the time and asking questions right back at him. Like I am the old dude from “Kung Fu” giving advice to Grasshopper. It is daunting!

I just took two books out from the library to help me in my cause: Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief and The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief.

Right now, though, I need to go on another evening walk with my son, who spent the day painting and working on his course and playing video games. He also grilled hot dogs on the grill for us for dinner, which was nice, even though I can’t stand hot dogs. For a whole variety of reasons. But chargrilled and smothered in mustard and sauerkraut, just about anything would probably taste good! So, I give him credit for volunteering to cook.

Tomorrow morning I need to remember to relax better and breathe more deeply.

Or at all!