WTH????

Hello!!!!????!!!!

Somebody is messing with my blog.

Somebody is posting blog posts on MY blog!!!!

I don't know who you are, or why you are doing this! I mean, come on, why not just start your own blog???

I am sorry.

sigh.

I am sorry that I have not been able to post lately... err, like, for a long while.

I can say that I will try to do better, but, frankly, I am doing the best that I can right now.

sigh.....

OK.

Look.

If you (whoever you are) want to post on here, I guess it is fine. Just please try not to be, you know, offensive or use really off-color language.

And, yes, I hear all of my close friends laughing at this caveat.

Your posts were actually kind of -- OK -- not "kind of", but more like "really"-- interesting.

So, if you have more interesting things to discuss, go for it.

You have my blessing!

Lord knows I have more than enough stuff to keep me busy right now.

And I think you might have some really interesting, entertaining things to talk about.

You go, girl/boy! Whoever you are!!!!

I'm baaaaaaaaack!

I see that Ms. Gray Stockings has not even noticed my surreptitious, yet in-broad-daylight arrival.

Don't worry.

I would venture a guess that she won't notice for some time to come.

So.... sigh...

Let's see....

Where to begin?

I could talk about the current book I am reading. The last book I read. The most recent movie I saw. The movie I most wanna see. Songs that I am listening to. Meals that I have eaten, cooked, or wanna cook. My thoughts on fashion. Politics. World events. The economy. Religion. The weather. Sports. Poetry. The blotter report in our weekly local rag. TV. Michael Jackson. Health care. Travel plans. Vacation hot spots. Good deals on used cars. The price of tea in China.

There are so many things to choose from.....

Makes me wonder why Ms. Golf Sierra has been so derelict in posting to her blog. There is simply so much to write about!

I have thoughts about... oh, so many things!

I think I will just start from the first thing that comes to my mind.

Which would be cooking.

Someone recently told me this most amazing story about how when they were at a summer family reunion in the wilds of Vermont or New Hampshire (sorry, I always get those two states mixed up), her husband got annoyed with a porcupine that was gnawing on their cabin wall at two in the morning and blasted it to high heaven with a sawed-off shotgun. He then proceeded to skin it and dress it or prepare it or whatever one does with a dead animal and... I kid you not!... cook it up in the crock pot.

This thing cooked all day long in the crock pot. Filling the cabin with that lovely aroma of stewing porcupine, I would imagine. An odor I doubt any Glad air freshner could ever negate! (It makes me want to smear Vick's Vapo-Rub under my nose as I write this.)

Anyway, while my friend did not sample the cooked porcupine, she said all her relatives and distant relatives were lining up, out the cabin door, just to get a taste.

I asked her how her husband even knew (let alone thought of) how to cook a porcupine. According to her, there is a recipe in The Joy of Cooking cookbook for porcupine.

Well, I have a Joy of Cooking, and you know what?

She's right. On page 515 of the 1984 edition of Joy of Cooking, there is, indeed, a recipe for porcupine:

Skin by hanging back legs from hooks. Remove kernels in small of back and under forelegs. Hang in a cool dry place 48 hours. Soak overnight refrigerated in salted water:
1 porcupine
In the morning, bring the water to a boil. Drain and immerse porcupine again in cold water. Bring to a boil and drain again. Place the meat in a Dutch oven. Add:
3 cups water or light stock
1 rib celery, chopped
1 sliced medium-sized onion
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp salt
Simmer until tender, about 2 1/2 hours

OK. Now, why am I thinking it should be more like 2 1/2 DAYS?????

And I still wouldn't be touching it.

I can see why he opted for a crockpot, though. You could just throw the porcupine in on low and go about your business all day, doing meaningful activities, like repairing that giant hole you made in the cabin door when you shot the porcupine with a sawed-off shotgun, for instance.

And in case you were wondering -- or could not find adequate recipes on the Food Network website -- the Joy of Cooking also has recipes for squirrel, oppossum, raccoon, muskrat, woodchuck, beaver, beaver tail ("To Indians and settlers alike, this portion of the animal was considered the greatest"), and armadillo.

Boy, howdie!

Why, this could be a roadkill chef's dream come true.

So, the next time you pass a carcass on the Farmer to Market road -- or in your cul de sac, remember that the Joy of Cooking (aka "The All-Purpose Cookbook") could be the answer to that never-ending question...

"What's for dinner?"

Gaaahhhhh................

I am totally annoyed.

The person who runs this blog has not posted anything in EONS.

Hello!!!!

That would be like in a rrrrrrrrealllyyyyyyy long time.

I am fed up.

From here on, I am going to start posting things. All by myself. Hacked in and got the password. I am in, baby, in. In like Flynn. (Ya know, I used to think that was "In like flint." Neither one makes any sense to me, but whatever.)

I have a contest going. I wanna see how long it takes Ms. Gray Stockings to even friggin' notice that anyone else is posting on her blog.

We can take wagers. Whaddya all think....?????

See. No one is reading, or even glancing at this blog. Because it is stagnant. Dead. Not happenin'. Dull meat.

But me, I am going to change things around here. For as long as I can.

So, stay tuned, any wayward sons, or people who use RSS feeds.

I is here.

I is here to stay.

And I is full of ideas and thoughts and feelings and such.

I ain't gray.

I is every color of the rainbow!!!!!

Let the games begin..............

Canada 2009

I realize that different people find different things relaxing and reinvigorating, but my ten days in Canada were wonderful, amazing, peaceful, quiet, enriching.

A stop in Niagara-on-the-Lake for a Shaw Festival play and winery visits and a nice dinner and stay at our favorite B&B is always a great way to begin our vacation. Three friends who have known each other since grade school and middle school and now live in three separate cities but who are embarking on a vacation together for the third year in a row.

Stocking up on our favorite wines for the week, and taking advantage of the chance to walk around the small town of NOTL and stretch our legs after a long day in the car.

A fabulous, relaxing dinner on the outdoor patio of the Epicurean, followed by a great play (in this case, Sunday in the Park with George) at the Royal George Theatre.

A night's rest and then four more hours north by car to Pointe au Baril and an additional twenty minutes by launch to the island where we will spend the next eight days.

With no TV, no radio, no computers, no Internet, no phone (although our host has Canadian coverage for his cell phone, so we can be reached in case of emergency), no work woes, no kids, no nothing.

Eight days of relaxing, reading (I managed to fit in four and a half books and numerous magazines), sunning, talking, listening to music, kayaking, swimming, eating, and drinking all those great NOTL wines. Cocktail hours on the screened-in porch or out on the dock, home cooked and grilled meals with fresh produce we had picked up at a farmer’s market on the way, sitting in lounge chairs watching the water and the surrounding islands and the birds and the occasional boats that come and go.

It really was about as close to heaven on earth as I can imagine.

The stark scenery of the windswept pines and granite rocks against all that water is breathtaking and never boring. And the weather changes constantly and unpredictably from one day to the next and even within a single day.

Ducks, Canadian geese, loons, gulls, woodpeckers, snakes, minks, squirrels, fish, bats, and mosquitoes; the wildlife is ubiquitous, and thankfully we did not see a bear this year!

You can just sit and look out at the water and the islands and never be bored: sunrise; puffy, streaming clouds; overcast skies; rainstorms and thunder; clearing skies and rich blue; late afternoon and early evening skies; a slow, prolonged sunset; painted waters; darkness. And then it begins all over again.

For eight days.

That is life on Yoctangee, a small island in a sequestered part of Georgian Bay, in Ontario....