Rad

I got to know Boo, really, because of math.

Or maybe that should be “MATH.”

Or even “M.A.T.H.”

I’m not sure. I am not as good at English as I am at… math.

Then again, Boo is not very good at either English or math.

But he is funny. And he is... interesting. We have a lot of fun together. At least when he’s not getting on my nerves.

Anyway, one day after school, we were talking about Pokemon and cheat codes and video games and whatnot, and we ended up at the ice cream place. Boo had money in his wallet – he always does. And I didn’t. Because I never – or rarely – do. My mom doesn’t believe in allowances. She thinks I should do chores as part of the family. And that if I want extra money, spending money, I should work extra jobs. She thinks I should “earn my living the old fashioned way” – by working. I’m not sure what’s up with that. I mean, I’m like a kid.

My dad always gives me money. He sends it to me in the mail, or when I go visit him, he is always giving me money.

Just ‘cuz.

Which is cool.

The only problem is, I always spend the money he gives me right away. And then I don’t have any more. And my mom is like a total Scrooge.

It’s kind of sucky. And not fair, if you ask me.

I feel like my dad and my mom are using this whole money thing in the middle to mess with each other, and I am the one who gets screwed over by it all. But, hey, whatever. I can deal with it.

Anyway, Boo ALWAYS has money. And we went to the ice cream place. And just when we were coming out, that goddamned horn went off. Boo started cussing and yelling, I thought I was going to pee my pants he was so damned funny!

It was the first time I ever saw or heard anyone say anything negative about that horn.

Except for my mom, of course.

The horn TOTALLY upsets her. Especially when she has one of her bad headaches. Which seems to be more often lately.

Boo’s bizarre ranting and raving made me smile. Made me laugh. Made me snort gelato out my freaking nose!

Made me get an idea.

An evil, awful idea.

Like the Grinch gets in “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.”

Like the whole idea behind math.

MATH.

M.A.T.H.

Whatever!

It was brilliant really. And simple.

It was so simple, it was brilliant.

The idea was born that very afternoon.

We slapped our sticky hands together and made a pact.

A blood brother pact.

Yessss!!!

As God was our witness, we would get rid of that goddamned horn!